Pimping with Pride

Finally, the world has embraced what That Fat Bastard has always known: The Pimp is the Thing.

Far too often your friendly neighborhood Pimp has gotten a bad rap from the Culture Police. They raise the specter of illegality, object to the objectification of women, and feign injury over the occasional drive-by shooting, while completely missing the point. Gone is the misleading image of a violent jerk that enslaves unwilling women in an illegal sex-trade. The Pimp is cool. The Pimp is style. The Pimp is everything we, as self-important free-market capitalists yearning to breath free, want to be.

The Pimp is America.

Thankfully, due to recent changes in cultural iconology embracing the work begun by J. J. Walker, Antonio Fargas, and Rick James, Pimp is not just another name for your baby's daddy. Pimp is a definition of style, and a goal to be reached. Pimp is something you can strive for. You can Pimp your ride, Pimp your crib, or purchase Pimpin' threads. If you're stuck working for the Man, you can even Pimp your cubicle. In fact, if you own it, do it, wear it, smoke it, suck it, play it, blog it, name it, time it, dress it, or drink it, you can Pimp it.