Guns & Ammo

Yes, everyone is doing it. Making fun of Vice President Cheney's recent hunting accident is an easy way to get a laugh. Forgive me, but that is basically shooting ducks in a barrel. However, despite the media's exhaustive coverage of the slowness of the White House response, and the pundits exhausting pontificating, the important points of this particular accident seem to have been missed.

In fact, the closest one to the mark so far has been Janet Shamlian of NBC. She noted, in one of her articles, how hunting takes the place of golf for the Good Ol' Boys. She even quoted a couple of 'em regarding the social necessity of skill with the 12 gauge, as opposed to the 9 iron, for Texas businessmen.

"I frequently take clients on hunting trips," says Bill Swisher, a securities industry executive in Dallas. "I can learn a great deal about an individual while hunting."

For god's sake, does the media need it handed to them on a platter. The point of this incident is not that Big Dick didn't tell the media. It's not even that he shot a lawyer, funny as that may be. The lesson we, as citizens of the richest republic in the world, should be taking away from this ribald occurrence is what we have learned about the Vice President's character.

First of all, the lawyer in question is no taller than 6', maybe 6'2". At 30 yards, or even 30 feet, the fact that Dickie got him mainly in the chest indicates that the gun was being held with no upward inclination when the trigger was fired. In fact, in his interview, the VP stated, "There was a little bit of a gully there, so he was down a little ways before land level." In other words, the Big Dick was aiming at the ground. What kind of unsporting ass shoots quail on the ground? You might as well hunt chickens at that point.

Secondly, George W's junior stated, "I didn't see it at the time I shot, until after I'd fired." So the Vice President of the United States of America appears to be comfortable pulling the trigger without actually checking where the weapon is pointing. Considering the situation in Iraq at the moment, I guess this is old news.

And finally, in the words of the ever wise Xavryn, the American Liberal News Media reported that Cheney's demeanor at dinner that night was "worried." If it had been anyone else, the demeanor after shooting a friend in the face would have been, "at the hospital, eating out of a vending machine."